Surviving in a busy life season | Madison Blogger
I have been struggling
I was talking with my therapist last week about all the struggles I’m facing as an entrepeneaur and a mother, and she asked why I don’t talk about it on my blog. I suddenly realized that I should because there might be others going through the same struggle as me.
Oftentimes I find myself getting jealous of just stay at home moms. To only have the responsibility of cleaning, feeding, doing laundry and loving on your children is literally a dream I hope to have one day..
For me, though, I need to work in order to pay our bills and make ends meet. We have never been in a situation that allows my husband to earn enough to pay all the bills and me just to watch the children. Our immigration dug a super deep debt hole for us that we aren’t even remotely close to crawling out of.
The struggle of managing business & motherhood
It’s hard. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I constantly have to watch my stress level with my business and try my freaking hardest that it does not transfer over to my children. Yet their clothes and shoes are reliant on my income. It is so hard to explain to a 5 year old why I have to spend time on the computer so that they can go to Wisconsin Dells next summer.
I am a pessimist at nature and it is so hard not to wish this phase of my life away. I recently hired a business coach and she got me started on reading some books. One of them talks about how we need to embrace change and challenges, it’s the fire that forms us and we can either choose to learn from it, or shut down and complain the entire way while not making much progress.
That really hit me hard because I’m someone who doesn’t particularly run towards challenges or difficulty, even though I know in my mind that’s how I’ll grow, I am still scared. Yet I have nothing to lose by trying, and being open to the challenge. That’s how we all grow and that’s how people become successful.
How I’m managing.
I have to fight the guilt, every.single.day. I feel like a bad mom most days. I don’t dwell on that because it just makes me want to cry and give up on life. I try to imagine what my kids will be like when they are older and that pushes me to better myself and be a “better mom.” That includes them going to public school. A decision that I did not enjoy making.
We are Catholic and I really wanted them to go to Catholic school, but we don’t have the money and I can’t drive them to and from school. I know my anxiety and stress level just can’t handle that simple task.
I try to be smart about my business. I recently started blocking days so that I would keep work on certain days and then be “off” on other days. It doesn’t always work, but psychologically, it helps me a lot.
Running 3+ businesses.
I am told all the time I’m talented. Guess what, I’m not naturally good at literally any business that I currently run.
I studied and taught myself photography, I studied and taught myself how to knit, my mum taught me basic sewing skills but I’m terrible at sewing. Just good enough to line my knit hats.
I don’t consider myself a good blogger either, but I try and I know that I have to post from my heart otherwise I would NEVER run this. I can’t do those sponsored posts all the time because I want to talk about stuff that no one ever talks about, and that stuff doesn’t get sponsored sadly. Maybe someday, a girl can dream.
Recently I started getting into florals, but even with that I studied and spent a lot of time looking at bouquets and arrangements and I have talked with a few florists and asked a bunch of questions. I didn’t just randomly pick it up and then oh! It’s perfect! I would never say I’m perfect at anything I do. Never.
This blog I consider a business, because down the road I would love to earn money from it, but even though I don’t now, if I didn’t treat it like a business - you would never see content here. EVER.
Having faith in the future.
My life will not always be like this. I have to tell myself this every single day when I’m exhausted, burnt out and I have a list the size of 5 pages every single day that never gets shorter because something is always getting added to it.
It’s hard to imagine a time when I won’t be busting my ass so hard that I just want to cry on a weekly basis because I’m terrified I’m not being a good enough “home mom” when I’m surrounded by them on facebook and you all know the comparison game is strong. To not compare myself takes all the will power in me.
I’m thankful that I am passionate about everything that I’m doing and it’s the only way I have the determination to make income through it. I couldn’t do photography if I didn’t love it and didn’t love giving my clients beautiful timeless pieces, or using it through my portrait work to empower women.
I don’t have a conclusion.
I’m just here to tell that life is hard, and there are rough seasons, but I think it’s important to not let the rough seasons define us. That’s what I’m working on right now. I am going to focus on reasons I’m doing this in the first place: my family and continue to better myself so that we can have a house, and have enough money to go travel to visit family and to donate to worthy causes.
If you’re a working mom, drop a comment below and let me know how you’re doing!
Thanks for reading!