Our 7th Wedding Anniversary | Madison Blogger | Marriage Blogger

We are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary this year so I thought I would share a little bit about our story and us for those who are new to my blog and don't know much yet. :) 

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We met online

We met online in 2010. It's funny because I wasn't looking to date anyone and I was online because I was burning time looking through guys' profiles. Well, Paul sent me a message and we chatted for a short time, then exchanged facebook profiles. 

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That was April of 2010. We met for the first time on Memorial day weekend, a month and a half later. 

It was a bit of a whirlwind, you could say. We got engaged LESS than 6 months later on August 31. I was about to leave Toronto and move back to Nova Scotia in Canada, where I'm from. 

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Fast forward one year, we got married in Halifax, Nova Scotia on June 18, 2011. It was so flipping cold. Summers on the east coast don't start till like July. Looking back, I kinda wished we had gotten married in July or August! 

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Immigration nightmares 

After our wedding, we started the immigration process for Paul to become a permanent resident in Canada. Well, unfortunately, we suffered some serious bad luck as Paul never received his work permit and financially it took a toll on us.

We decided to turn the tables, and Paul went back to the US. I was pregnant with Aaron at the time (our youngest) and stayed in Canada to give birth there. I gave birth without Paul and then after when trying to visit the US I got barred from entering. Paul and I were separated for 29 months in total from February 2013 to July of 2015 while our immigration paperwork got figured out (they also lost my file in the process). I don't wish that on any couple but we are so glad it's over now! 

 During one of Paul's visits in 2014

During one of Paul's visits in 2014

It was the hardest 2 years of our lives spent together thus far, but it defined who we are now I can tell you that much. It also felt like that was our midlife crisis even though we are only technically reaching the middle of our lives now. 

How we survived our separation

 My cousin had taken these photos of my Paul with the boys as they were all in the US and I was stuck in Canada in 2014

My cousin had taken these photos of my Paul with the boys as they were all in the US and I was stuck in Canada in 2014

We got asked so many times how we did it and people joked that we were most likely cheating on each other during this time. How hurtful those comments were because we did no such thing. Those thoughts didn't even enter our minds because we were just so distraught with the pain of not being able to be with one another. Here's how we got through it: 

  • We NEVER ever considered that separation was an option. It just wasn't. The only way that would happen is if one of us died. 
  • We prayed
  • My husband visited as often as he could
  • I went to therapy
  • We offered up our suffering for those who were in worse situations than us. Eg: couples separated or living in war zones, children dying etc. 

Marriage is freaking hard work. 

I'm not here to burst your bubble of what marriage is like. But I'm here to be realistic. It's hard work. Throw in a bunch of personalities to the mix and it can get so wild! 

I'm thankful that my husband and I try to work hard at communicating. It's exhausting at times, but most of the time, it's so beautiful and so rewarding. While that 2-year separation was like a near death experience for me, I'm grateful now that we made it through because it really did define us. It gave us perspective and it made us better humans. 

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If you're going through a tough spot in your marriage or in a relationship. It's hard when you're down in the hole and there's darkness surrounding you, but the other can be so so so beautiful. 

Here's to many more years spent together and not apart! 

 

 

Miriam BulcherComment