A letter to all young Dads for Mother's Day
Yes, it's that time of year, a day when you have to remember your own mother but also your wife. This is a letter to the younger dads with littles, you may have a few or many kids. Your wife is most likely burnt out, tired, overworked and simply wanting to feel loved more (the love tank empties faster with little kids! It's just the way it is!). Or, your wife is pregnant (she's a mom too!) and she's just exhausted from the pregnancy.
I'm going to give you some key essential points in order to not piss your wife off this mother's day. There's nothing worse than being on the short list simply because you forgot or because you didn't put in enough effort. Maybe you didn't know how to go about what to do or what to get for this day? Yes, we women are complicated, I get it. I'm not going to write a specific product list because what I'm going to talk about goes above that. This is about communication.
Step 1. Forget about what you are pretty sure of what she wants.
There's nothing worse than getting a gift that you really thought she wanted, but guess what, it's not REALLY what she wanted.
Take your desires out of the equation. This isn't about getting the best gift and definitely not about the most expensive. It's about getting what she needs to feel loved and appreciated.
Step 2. Learn your wife's love language.
Go to this website and get your wife to take this quiz: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
- You tell her that you want to get better at knowing her and would like her to take this quiz
- You also take it and send it to her and start a discussion once you both have your results.
- Guys are stealthy, I know you are capable of asking questions based on the answers in this quiz.
- Your gift should correspond with her love language.
Step 2. What has she been really struggling with lately?
It has to be recent, like in the past couple months. Has it been the housework? Struggling to get groceries? Do you have a newborn and she just wants a break to hang with girlfriends?
Start paying attention to her mannerisms, and ask her questions or offer things. Keep a special ear out for things she says she wants, but it has to make sense. Not just chocolates or things that your wife isn't really into, or Walmart or the grocery store seems to think is a great gift idea.
Once you know your wife's love language you will see more of what her needs are based on that and you can piece it together.
Step 3. Compile a list of items or things.
It's not just about physical items to give, for some moms especially new moms, their love language might be acts of service. Hire a housecleaner to clean a room or the entire house if you can afford it. Otherwise, keep an eye out for what she's been complaining about and target that specific area. Do it yourself, even. Now, every mom will joke this is what she wants but for example, that doesn't target my love language and I would feel it was a waste of money if my husband did that for me.
Sorry, I'm sure you were looking for a list of items that would give you the black and white answer of what to get the mother of your children for her special day. It's much more than that and to make it memorable you will have to do the homework listed above. You have 13 days to complete this mission. ;-)
Good luck, and Godspeed.
Tired, emotionally and physically exhausted moms.