How to let go of caring what people think about you | Madison Mom Blogger
How many of you just get sucked into being so self-concious you can't function anymore? I would've raised my hand this time last year.
People often ask me how I can be so confident in my pictures or be so vulnerable on social media and I want to share it with you.
Moving past this will change your life
I'm telling you, I really feel like I didn't start living my life until I learned how to let go of this so let's start.
Find your insecurities
This is a tricky one because it might not just be about you, it could be someone that you hang out with, or a class that you are participating in, or a group that you go to occasionally that is unconsciously making you feel insecure. It's important to make these connections. You really have to think about how it makes you feel right after you are done the class, or done at the group or hanging out with a certain someone. This is how you will tell if you need do something about it.
Take a break from social media
This one is probably the hardest. But in order to really focus on finding your insecurities, you need to take away all other distractions. Social media is a distraction, it's an addiction and in order to really really focus on how certain people or environments make you feel, you need to take a break. Perhaps someone you follow on social media is fueling your insecurity? You won't know until you take a break.
Create a safe place, a psychological home.
Sure, you already have a home, but that's not what I'm talking about. Start writing a list of what you LOVE about yourself and think about things that support this. Your kids, your spouse, certain friends, certain activities that help you become who you want to be. This is your psychological home. A psychological home is SUPER important because without this you can't let go of what others think of you.
Start seeing a therapist
You're thinking "Miriam, I don't have any issues." Oh, sure you might not have depression or anxiety or an eating disorder BUT I'm telling you right now that EVERYONE should attend therapy at some point in their life if not regularly. Our psychological health is no joke and this is probably the biggest reason alone why I'm so confident.
A therapist not only helps you solve hard issues but is also your #1 supporter other than your spouse. Think about it, if you can only talk to your spouse or your parents, they have limited time and limited emotional availability plus it's not specifically their job to hear you out all the time.
Your therapist is paid to listen to you, paid to help you figure out what you're struggling with and also, they are people who genuinely care about you getting better. This is very very important and crucial to letting go of what other people think.
Case in point: me
Last year (2017) was pivotal for me. I didn't realize it until I had been going to therapy for 6 months but I had been working with someone for 1.5 years, someone who I thought was helping me in many aspects but mostly business. Someone who I thought I could be close to and we could be friends. Over that 1.5 years, I went from an eager beaver to being SO self-conscious that I couldn't even pursue my business properly, I doubted pretty much everything and couldn't speak in a public group setting because I was afraid of being shut down or compared to someone else or not good enough.
Little did I know that it was ONE person that all of this had stemmed from. I finally had enough and cut this person out of my life. BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From then on, I worked on cutting other people and social settings out that were making me feel the same (even though perhaps not quite as extreme) and I was very careful about who I let into my life. I focused on my family and who I really wanted to be. If someone didn't seem like they wanted to support that then they were out.
Stop giving temporarily
No, not money. Emotionally. Stop giving yourself emotionally to anyone other than people who genuinely care about you. If you aren't sure, then start thinking about it and make a list.
I realized that I had been giving myself, my talents, my business, my time and energy to a group of people who didn't give two shits about it. It took me 2 years to realize this, TWO YEARS!!!! Man, I'm an idiot and I hope I can save you from experiencing that. If you are a generous person, pull back and really analyze who you are giving yourself to. Some might be draining you so much that you don't know who you are anymore, and some others might be supporting you and returning the generosity.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO CUT OUT PEOPLE OR THINGS TO BE HAPPY!!
Once you navigate these steps you will find the shackles will come off and you can TRULY be happy. Happy making the decisions without thinking about what other people think because you know that this is what is good for YOU. It doesn't matter what other people think, because you doing you and improving your life is all that matters. I hope this was helpful and if you have any other suggestions or questions I'd love to hear them! Drop a comment below! :)
Also, if you aren't already come follow me on Instagram! I post a lot more of my musings in snippets everyday :) My handle is @freckledglam